Category: spilled ink

I’m hurting. I don’t want you to f…

I’m hurting.
I don’t want you to fix it,
I want you to 
feel 
it.

Maybe it’s something in the air Or the darknes…

Maybe it’s something in the air
Or the darkness of your eyes
But it’s twisting all my feelings
And this love seems full of lies.
I don’t know who I am.
Have I ever been alone?
I plant saplings in my garden
But the weeds are overgrown.
I’m scratching off my skin
And ripping out my hair 
But so is everyone I know
It’s something in the air.

My friend’s eight year old daughter came up to…

My friend’s eight year old daughter came up to us when we were talking the other day looking extremely upset and sad. Apparently someone had told her, “oh you’d be so pretty it only you lost all this baby fat.” First of all, she’s eight. She’s a healthy kid who is extremely intelligent and when shes around she brightens the whole room because she’s such a happy child. I wrote this poem for her. And for all little girls out there facing the “pretty” label and being told what they should be to fit that very small limited mould. Don’t worry about what they think you should be. Be whoever YOU want to be.
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My book Fierce Fairytales is out! You can order it here: http://hyperurl.co/FierceFairytales

The day you left, I began reading space theori…

The day you left, I began reading space theories to cope.

I took a break

That’s what we do when we’re broken, right? We break down, break up, break out – take a break. Take whatever isn’t working and tear it down… sometimes you fuck it all up. I got stuck in a loop. Pain causing pain causing pain. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t read, I couldn’t write. I wish this was a shitty hyperbole. 

I always learned to take my medicine, that it would fix me, but that only works in a perfect system. Pain causes pain causes pain. You need nurses who give a fuck and doctors who treat you right and someone to change the doses when they keep you up all night. 

Life sucks when half of your medicine is a lifestyle. You have to move through the pain, you have to exercise. But you worked all day and you’re sore and that bed looks mighty comfy maybe just sleep it off and get up early to work out but pretty soon you’re rolling out of bed for a 4pm shift and your joints are stiff and your eyes are shaking and your morning meds have shifted to the afternoon and pain keeps shooting down your spine but you. did. this. to. yourself. 

I took a break to heal but I’m still broken. 

That’s just something I’ve got to accept.

For all the monsoon girls out there.

For all the monsoon girls out there.

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If you are feeling unhappy or heartbroken, wat…

If you are feeling unhappy or heartbroken, watch this. I promise you, you will feel better by the end of it.

With racing hearts and dimming lights, our bod…

With racing hearts and dimming lights,
our bodies find the floor like corpses
and we are led to meditation.
A voice tells me to think of a safe place,
something that’s mine
and I instantly feel a warmness in my chest.
She tells us to close our eyes,
slow our breathing, 
and find it.
“Remember how it feels,” she guides,
and there’s softly brushing my cheek,
“what it looks like,” she continues,
green eyes flash across the backs of my eyelids,
“sounds like,”
his voice blankets me again, soft and warm,
“smells like," 
his shampoo is still in my hair
"tastes like,”
I remember the mint of his toothpaste from any other.
“It doesn’t matter what it is,” she whispers,
“just as long as you feel safe there, happy,”
and I certainly do –
the only home I know is in your arms.
I could almost drift off to sleep 
from the peace I’ve found
recalling forehead kisses and sleepy afternoons.
I’ve never breathed so lightly, so easily,
I’m so in love with you.

how am i to sleep without you in my arms?

how am i to sleep
without you in my arms?