I wrote you letters but never sent them.
I stayed up at night drowning in thoughts of you.
Do you still care?
Did you ever?
Are you thinking of me too?
How could you do this to me?
Why did you do this to me?
Why? Why? Why?
I think and think and think, around and around in circles, until exhaustion sweeps over me like a blanket and finally I am at peace for a few hours.
Except I’m not because there you are in my dreams. You are every where, like a disease that has spread to every part of me and there is no cure.
I am trapped by you but you aren’t even here. There is no escape. What used to be wild and free is now caged, destined to rot in this hell you put me through.
Do you even care? I don’t need an answer. I already know
I feel like I can breathe again
You are fire. You were not born to be smothered by someone who couldn’t handle the heat. Light up, burn bright, set the world on fire.
You are my biggest weakness
Never have I met a sadness that couldn’t be reworked and reshaped into a sculpture of strength and survival. Never have I felt a pain that couldn’t be transformed into a tragically beautiful combination of words to be screamed into the microphone. Never have I experienced a loneliness that couldn’t be replaced with laughter and warm hugs.
Whatever may come between us will never break us apart because love is stronger than anything
In a world painted in darkness I could always find light in you.
Instead of waiting for someone to love you with all of your flaws why not learn to love them yourself?
Don’t forget to catch the glimpses of happy. Bask in them – breathe in the air, memorize the colours, capture the sounds and make a soundtrack of them. Call it “Once when I was happy” and play it over and over until it becomes the background music of your life. Let it fill you up with joy until it becomes a beacon of light within yourself and when you forget what happiness feels like use that beacon to guide yourself back to it once more.
Life isn’t always happy and it is often dark but there are always glimpses of happy. Please don’t forget to capture them.
You are the medicine to my sadness